I posted a status update on Facebook a few hours ago:
"It has been an interesting day..."
I got a couple of inquiries by folks just checking in, a couple of encouraging comments, and three likes. I wasn't really trying to stir things up or make anyone super-curious, I was just commenting on the day thus far. There was fodder for interesting conversation and there were some things that gave me pause, made me reflect.
We have actually had an interesting few days leading up to this point. There have been things that make me question and pray, things that make me wonder if I really just need to grow a thicker skin, and things that have brought me to tears. I have been frustrated, sad, annoyed, perplexed, thrilled, excited, and fearful.
And no, reader, I'm not going to publish a laundry list of all those things here. I hate to be "mysterious" - because truly, I'm pretty much an open book to anyone who knows me. No poker-playing for me. Now is simply not the time, and it may never be. However, this is my space to share, to think, to save things for later. For now, I'm using it to "think out loud."
There have been bright spots, for sure. We spent a quiet day at home for the 4th of July (one of my favorite holidays, right behind Thanksgiving), and went over to a friend's house for lounging and fireworks later in the evening. We had a lovely Saturday - the weather has been exemplary for this time of year, and I truly love having very few commitments and 'to-do' items for a weekend. I have missed running with my BRF (best running friend) this week, but trading in an early morning run for a quiet Saturday morning did our whole family good.
I've never been more guarded, and yet more open and vulnerable, than since I went back to work last summer. It sounds like such an oxymoron - like "deafening silence" - and yet it feels so very true.
((I stopped writing at this point, and am coming back much later to review the draft. I've decided to click "Publish" - 8.28.2014))