With her permission, I'm sharing a message from my dear friend, H, who is about 4 months away from delivering her (first??) bundle of joy:
I promise I've been meaning to call, but things are so crazy!!
Just thought I would write you a note that says mood swings suck. This is more for my general well-being (venting) than actual informative value because all women know this.
One, I know I'm having emotional instability, but don't want to admit it because that means I'm giving IT power. IT doesn't deserve power because I'm still in control. Ok, at least that's what I tell myself.
Two, just because it's a mood swing doesn't mean the points I'm trying to make aren't valid. Of course, people who love and are surrounded by me give me that dreaded "sympathy" look while saying to themselves, "poor thing...she's just not herself." Well that's not true. I'm myself, but without a filter. Yes, I'm as blunt as safety scissors. Deal with it!
Three, I don't want to think so much, but that's a by-product of the mood swing. Crazy thoughts creep into your head and linger there like last night's leftover dinner aroma. Of course, we're prepared to raise a kid. I mean, heck we've gotten the bedding. Doesn't that count for something? No crib, no changing table, stroller, diapers, bottles, anything, but we've got the bedding! My kid can sleep in comfort on the carpet. Yep, check the prepared box.
Four, why does nobody else seem to be concerned about anything? And by nobody else I mean my dear husband. Mr. Cool as a Cucumber, the sky could be raining naked babies and he wouldn't notice. I think this is a tactic he's using to deal with the mood issues, but little does he know it's back firing. I don't need calm....I need ACTION. Read the books, choose between green leaf or prickly pair paint chips, be prepared. Isn't this the boy scout motto for crying out loud?
Ugg, mood swings suck. Happy and blissfully naive are better places to be, but some how the brain gets fired up and there's no extinguisher to put it out. I just want to yell out, "Four alarm fire boys. Bring the big hoses!" But they all think I'm crazy.
Breathe in, breathe out. I think writing this made me feel better or convinced me that I really am crazy. Either way thanks for lending me an e-ear.
Dear H: Thanks for sharing with me!!! Either you are not crazy, because I've been there before, or we are both crazy. Either way I feel better, too :) Lots of love from me to you! XOXO and PS - I wish I could write like that! Truly, I could not have said it better myself!